Help With Being My Own Lawyer in Family Court Missouri

The legal organization is an interesting field to work in. Lawyers meet a lot of cases on a day-to-day ground and, unlike other professions, at that place's no real way to ever know how something is going to pan out. While not all legal work is exciting (there'south alot of paperwork to go through), there are some areas of law that can be more engaging and entertaining than others. And some of the biggest, craziest moments happen in the court room. Of course, existence a lawyer isn't always how it's portrayed in the movies. Just that doesn't mean it's a mundane chore, either. Simply take it from these people, who shared the craziest moments they've e'er had in court.

No Leg To Stand On

Sabbatum in on a personal injury case where the plaintiff bankrupt their leg in an blow and had a dr. on the stand every bit an expert. The woman's lawyer begins questioning the doctor about their experience with leg injuries (he was a well known orthopedic surgeon in the expanse).

She asks if he's ever treated a tibula fracture (the leg bones are tibia and fibula) to which he just answers "no"; so she starts grilling him with questions near the tibula.

After about 6-7 questions she asks, "How did you lot go a medical liscense and have been able to do medicine this long if yous've never treated a tibula fracture?" and begins a minor bluster about going after his credentials and those that gave it to him, to which he simply responds "At that place is no os named the tibula."

The lawyer became beet crimson and everyone in the room tried their best to keep from laughing, including the judge.

I was representing a plaintiff in a striking and run case. Plaintiff is testifying and is, despite me preparing them for several hours the previous twenty-four hour period, an absolutely terrible witness for her own case. Similar, she couldn't even place the street she was crossing when she was striking past the car. It was a major highway and we had gone through the sequence of events countless times the day before the hearing.

The "uh oh" moment came during cross examination. Defense counsel pulls out a picture of my client dressed up and ready to striking the guild which was posted to Facebook the day after the alleged accident. I, thinking rapidly, object because the timestamp refers to when information technology was posted, not when it was taken. Defence force counsel shows the picture to my client and asks her when the picture was taken. Sure enough, they say it was taken the mean solar day subsequently the blow when she was supposedly in unbearable pain.

Uh Oh.

No Freedom In This Truth

My dominate had to defend a small-time runaway as duty solicitor. Before going to courtroom he asked my boss what he should do; she explained to him that if he was cooperative and truthful his sentence would be milder.

After hearing the case the judge asked him if he wanted to add something. He got upwards and explained to the gauge: "My counsel told me to exist truthful, so I wanted to tell you that I not only did the robbery I'm being heard for only besides several others in the region."

He continued to admit to several robberies that had been unsolved and anybody, even the state attorney, was facepalming.

Wearing The Evidence

Literally, the beginning thing I always did was just a law student intern. Our guy had a legitimate defence on a substance possession case. Substances plant in a jacket, the guy wasn't wearing a jacket, they were going to have a very difficult time proving the jacket belonged to my guy.

Had a long coming together with the client. Explained everything. The client was excited.

Day of the preliminary hearing, the guy shows up and sits down directly in front of the officer who arrested him…while wearing the jacket in question, the exact same jacket nosotros were going to say they couldn't prove belonged to him.

A Real Kicker

My former law partner. She was in courtroom representing a client, I think in a hearing for a restraining social club against her presently-to-be-ex-husband. Our client was telling the guess that when they met to exchange the children for visitation, the ex had kicked her. He immediately angrily shouted: "She tin can't prove it, I didn't leave a mark!" Thanks, buddy!

Shooting For Freedom

When I was in college, I was a bailiff. The guy is on trial for murder. The starting time witness testified that she saw the accused shoot the victim. The second witness states the aforementioned. Law officer testimony is that he arrived at the scene and the defendant was there holding the weapon. Coroner testimony is that the first bullet hitting the victim in the arm, the 2d bullet hit the victim in the body and the third bullet hit the victim in the heart which was the fatal shot.

Defendant yells out, "See, that proves that I didn't kill him; I only shot the guy twice!"

Presenting Proper Paperwork

I was at a hearing arguing that my client was wrongfully terminated because the employer failed to bide past the proper procedures. During the hearing, a witness for the employer tried to offer documents that were fraudulently altered in order to brand information technology look like the proper procedure was followed. I noticed the alteration. Opposing counsel quickly got that witness out of the room, and after a quick adjournment, my customer got a large settlement.

Egged On

Not a lawyer, but a defendant. As a teenager, I got busted with a couple of buddies throwing eggs at cars. We were simply actually in the courtroom for our sentencing, there was no trial. The judge chosen each of u.s. upwards individually to ask us if we had anything to say. One of my friends tells the approximate that he is a expert kid who doesn't normally do things like this (lie, we used to do it all the time), and that "I was just in the incorrect place at the wrong time." I wish there was a video of my other friend and I sitting in the benches watching this happen. We simultaneously dropped our heads into our hands considering we couldn't believe that idiot just said that. The judge was not pleased, and she took the opportunity to remind him that going to a shop, ownership eggs, going to a not her location across town, and then throwing those eggs at cars was not just existence in the wrong place at the wrong time.

A Truthful Judge

Opposing counsel was a nightmare: everything tardily, his piece of work was extremely subpar, and so along. Defendant me of lying multiple times when he had dropped the ball.

During another hearing in which he did some other dumb move, the judge said, "I'm glad yous are the last instance on the call, and all of the other attorneys have left the room, so they aren't hither to hear me say that yous are a terrible attorney."

All Most Intent

I was watching a hearing when the accused said, "I mean I did stab her…But information technology was a gentle stabbing."

The Fourth dimension To Bite Your Tongue

I was the idiot that about destroyed myself. I had two charges in two different courts. I accepted the first plea, which nigh always carries probation, but my plea didn't accept that status.

When it came time to take the second plea, the prosecutor didn't include probation because she assumed my first charge put me on probation. She said as much to the guess and me, being a big dummy, almost corrected her. My lawyer grabbed my shoulder and, I kid y'all non, told me to "Shut the heck up, she doesn't know."

Closed-Case On Custody

I'm not a lawyer but a court case I was involved with went this way.

My ex-mother in law was a crazy witch. Me and my wife at the time had cut her off almost completely. Every once in a while she would give in and permit her mom visit, which ever turned out desperately.

Eventually, we got divorced and I got full custody. My ex-mother-in-law went crazy and decided to sue me for custody. I looked over the law and for any form of visitation or custody you need to have had contact in the last half dozen months and she hadn't seen them for over a year.

So nosotros go to courtroom. I can't afford a lawyer but the law was pretty clear. She goes through 3 lawyers; each of them quit in turn. So she finally winds up representing herself.

During the final hearing, she was talking to the guess and said something to the effect of "I don't desire to get custody of them, I just want to be able to visit." The judge then asked her bespeak blank, "This is a custody hearing. Are you telling me you no longer want to get custody?" She said yes and the judge dismissed the case immediately.

Circus Testify In Courtroom

I'm a staff attorney for a judge. Had a domestics hearing over some upshot (final divorce hearing, custody, I don't call up). The mother'southward chaser is a prolific barrel in the customs. Puts on a big dog and pony testify because clients like to pay for the billboard, legal eagle stuff. Pretty bad reputation in our legal customs.

Father'south attorney (who is pretty young, compared to the mother's much older attorney) stands upward and is attempting to examine his witness. Mom'southward attorney stands up and objects to literally every sentence the father'southward attorney starts. Judge just kind of sits hoping information technology volition calm down, tells mom's attorney to sit. He continues, and merely before the judge finds him in antipathy, father's attorney turns and says, "You may remember because y'all're older than me, you lot can treat me with disrespect. You tin whoop and holler all you want but you won't do it at my expense. If y'all want to put on a show, go bring together the circus, [chaser'due south name]."

Canned From Questions

Never inquire a question to which you don't know the answer. Prosecutor suggested to my client that the canned appurtenances he had burgled were to exist used to trade for substances. Me, thinking the idea ludicrous, asked my customer whether he had ever traded nutrient for substances. To which he replied that he once exchanged a frozen craven for some. Needless to say, I didn't win that one.

Permanent Record

I'grand non an attorney, but a reporter whose beat is the canton courthouse, and then I've had plenty of these moments happen in forepart of me.

A guy was convicted of attempting to attack several police officers.

At his sentencing, the prosecutor revealed the defendant got a prison house tattoo while he was awaiting sentencing of a tombstone with the names of all the cops he attempted to hurt. But the defendant still had the brazenness to beg for a lenient sentence.

He got a few hundred years in jail.

A Hairy Situation

I was simply interning in courtroom during constabulary school merely I'm a lawyer now. Fight in a lodge, someone had broken someone else's jaw and had half dozen friends with him that insisted he had been identified wrongly because he never had a beard and the victim said he had a beard. They used a very specific phrasing to the melody of "my friend doesn't take facial hair because he is a professional in the food industry and information technology would become against the regulations." Later on three of the witnesses had repeated the same exact phrasing, the judge stopped one to ask if he knew what a couple of the terms in that line meant, and the witness couldn't explicate it.

Defense lawyer got busted for instructing the witnesses. She'd besides gotten the defendant to reject a plea deal that exchanged prison house time for a fine and community service.

Life Sentence

Lawyer hither! I had a pre-trial briefing at ix AM at a court near two hours away. And then I wake my butt up super early on to bulldoze in horrible weather to the conference. I get there and we're waiting for the other (in town) attorney. All the while I'm grumbling to myself almost how I'm from out of town and I tin still make information technology on fourth dimension. Finally, the court calls the other chaser's office and gets a receptionist who tells u.s. through tears that the their attorney passed away the night before. Needless to say, I was just happy to all the same be alive and nosotros rescheduled for a few months later.

State Of Consent

My buddy is going through a nasty divorce and I went with him to the initial hearing for support.

Turns out his wife lied ALL OVER her deposition nigh everything from how much money he's making, to be a violent drinker.

She and then tried to admit a secret recording she made of an statement that she baited him into having.

His lawyer asks where the recording took place, which was in California, a two-party consent state.

Whoops.

Punishing Himself

Making his argument before the sentencing, the defendant, who one thousand hurt a stepdaughter, her friend, and a niece, pulled a blade from God knows where and stabbed himself twice earlier getting wrestled to the ground. How he got it through the metallic detector, no one knows. He lived through that but passed away two months later in prison of natural causes.

Winning With A Written Brief

Step-parent adoption I was treatment in law school. I was actualization earlier the court on a motion–literally just submitting a written brief and summing up my statement and then the judge could call back well-nigh it in chambers for a few weeks–when the judge stopped me halfway through my explanation of the move, said "I'chiliad ready to sign the final order," and executed information technology correct there on the bench. The client happened to come forth for this one and broke down (happy) crying before nosotros left the courtroom. I felt 10 feet tall.

Father's Endorsement

Probably the funniest one I always came across happened to a colleague. We were prosecutors then. 18-year-old defendant applying for bail. He needed a residential address and got his dad to show up at courtroom to confirm that the family unit home was available to him. Defense lawyer gets dad to confirm that son can stay at family home. Dad says yeah. My swain prosecutor gets up and asks dad — practise yous really want him home? Dad goes off the deep cease. "Jesus. The grief he's brought me and his mother. Out all hours. Taking substances. Hiding stolen property in the garage. All night parties. I'm on medication and the wife's had a nervous breakup." Dad goes off on a rant for five solid minutes. As the defendant gets taken dorsum to the cells, he calls out "Thanks, Dad. I owe you 1."

Pleading The Fifth

I was on a jury in one case for a murder trial. Got selected and the trial started almost immediately.

The man was on charge with attacking his neighbor. They made their opening statements, there was even a bloody annotation. It wasn't terribly long only they clearly put a lot of effort into their strategies and were ready for boxing.

The starting time witness was called, it was the son of the man on trial. I forget the first question but it didn't affair, he immediately broke downwardly crying and invoked his 5th amendment right.

Everyone freaks out. Judge and lawyers were similar what just happened. The jury had no clue what was going on but we were quickly ushered out immediately after that.

A few minutes later it was explained to us what happened. The judge alleged a mistrial. The prosecutor must take suspected that the father was taking the autumn for the son, who really hurt the neighbour. Rather than risk losing, there was a mistrial while they sorted out who to really charge and try.

Gallery Fourth dimension

Sitting in courtroom, doing some plea paperwork with a defense chaser for a go home plea agreement (where a person is released from custody and doesn't take to do jail time). We hear this "Ksssssssstt- shhooooo" to our left and we await to see his guy sitting in the galley all past himself, sitting in the deject of the biggest vapor I take ever seen. He so has the brazenness to tell the estimate it "went off in his hand."

Do not laissez passer get, do not go free that day.

Abuse From The Defendant

I'yard only in constabulary school at the moment, but I saw this happen when I was watching a summary (non-jury) trial in my hometown virtually 3 years ago. It was a domestic corruption case, with the partner of the accused being examined. The prosecutor asked her to identify the person who she defendant of attacking her and she refused or said something along the lines of she didn't remember. She was clearly scared of the guy, but information technology seemed similar she was trying to protect him on the represent whatsoever reason.

Well, that was ruined after the second time she tried to protect him and refuse to place, equally the accused shouted out, "I'm right hither, you stupid idiot."

Truthful Liar

Not "uh oh" bad, just "Oh, I tin't believe she said that." Start jury trial, pretty serious charges. I'm cross-examining the alleged victim, and in answering my question she says, "Oh aye, I lie all the time!" Needless to say, I won that trial.

Threatened Over Tattoos

My ex forgot why she was in court.

Two years after nosotros dated, a crazy ex got a restraining order on me as revenge for proverb her tattoos sucked. She said I'd assaulted her and threatened to hurt her. Nosotros go to court, she tells her side, judge picks at a couple holes in her story, so asks her (per the law on restraining orders) how she feels I am a threat to her safety, security, and privacy: "Nobody should be able to say that about my [tattoos]." The stupid idiot just finished proverb I was a crazed predator, and so completely forgot.

Flight Into Trouble

Sat in the public gallery at a bail hearing for a human being defendant of heinous crimes against a very, very young female person relative. The judge started laying out the weather of bail and one of them was to surrender his passport. The man turned to his chaser and said, loudly, words to the issue of, "Simply y'all said I could fly dorsum to my home country…"

The judge stopped himself and revoked the man's bail.

A Tiring Case

My client fell asleep during his custody trial. Between that and him testing positive for substances on the day of trial after he fabricated a large deal accusing his ex of using substances (she tested clean), I was so happy to be done with that case.

Helping The Enemy

Story from a friend of mine – he was defending a guy in court, don't recollect what he was charged with.

The main witness for the prosecution was on the stand and was asked if she could place the accused. She was scanning the courtroom & seemed dislocated – my friend was already silently jubilant considering if she couldn't identify him, he could probably become all charges dropped.

As he was mentally adding this example to the 'win' file, he happened to glance over at his client, who had only helpfully raised his hand to make it easier for her to place him.

Even the judge facepalmed on that one.

Getting A Shoe In The Door

While getting on the elevator banks at the courthouse, some other lawyer tried to concur the door with his foot and his shoe popped off and went up with the elevator. In this courthouse, at that place are probably 20 elevators, and so there was no way he was going to find that shoe in time for his court telephone call. He freaked out for about ten seconds and so said "I judge I am going to court with one shoe on," and got on a different elevator. Hilarious.

How Loftier

A lawyer I used to know was in courtroom on a work injury case. The judge asked his client, "Just what is the nature of your injury?" His client replied "I can't heighten my arm this high anymore," while she raised her arm up to show just how high she couldn't raise it.

Cutting To The Chase

I was representing my client during a sentencing for some petty break-in. The judge asked him if he had anything to say before he imposed sentence. My customer started "Your honor I merely want to repent…" I'm thinking he'southward going to apologize for the break-in like they ever do, only he continued "…this forenoon I tried to bring a weapon into the courtroom." And it was there out on tape before I could end him. There was no fashion for me to strike it from the record and my client is stupid. I even so kick myself for that.

Bringing Up The Black Out

My girlfriend works in social services and often goes to court. A client of hers got a DUI and said to the gauge that she doesn't even know if she killed someone doing it considering she blacked out. My girlfriend covered her oral fissure and internally screamednoooo…

Ashes To Ashes

A famous loftier profile case in my customs had an incredible moment.

A high contour guy'southward house was raided, and they plant a few shreds of evidence in the ashtray and other scraps in the toilet.

In court, he was asked if he ever burned evidence; he said no. When asked if he e'er flushed testify, this older man without the best memory of two minutes ago responded; "No, if I wanted to get rid of prove, I would burn it in my ashtray."

Guess who won the case.

Volunteering Time

My cousin was in courtroom to determine how much time in jail he was going to get. The prosecution wanted 1 year, the approximate suggested ii years with a year of probation.

My cousin, being the genius that he is, piped up from the bench and said, "Well if you're gonna give me two, y'all might as well give me three."

Instance closed.

Klepto In Courtroom

My mom is a public defender. She was once defending this kid who is very well known in our pocket-size boondocks (he had stolen something, can't call back). When they were walking out of the court, one of the other lawyers noticed that her phone was missing. They later institute out that this child took the phone while he was walking out of the court. When asked about it, he said that he didn't know most the phone, and even accused my mother (the lawyer) of taking it.

A Positive Outcome

Had a customer in a family affair arguing custody of a child. My client insists that defendant/father would test positive for substances. I warn her that the court would also ask her to submit to a concrete test. She says "no trouble." Tests come up back negative for dad but positive for mom. Dad gets temporary custody while mom gets mandatory rehab. Be careful what you wish for.

Real-Life Looney Tune

Pre-courtroom and the lawyer in question was my uncle who was defending a man accused of abusing children. He pitched upward to court wearing one of those Warner Brothers grapheme ties (Tweety Bird or something) that were popular Father'due south Day presents in the 90'south. One of the clerks was dispatched to buy a new tie earlier anyone saw him.

Crash Course In Constabulary

My customer was involved in a hit and run. He damaged a parking automobile and flew. The side by side mean solar day he went to the police force and reported that somebody damaged HIS car. He did not tell me this and idea the judge was stupid plenty not to see this.

Hounding For Smokes

Back when I was a prosecutor, the bailiff would bring in the incarcerated defendants, chained together, and seat them in the jury box until each ane's case was chosen. Most halfway through the docket, one of these guys, while passing directly in front end of my counsel table, dropped to his easily and knees and began howling like a basset hound.

Since he was just a couple of feet from me, I froze. The judge sighed heavily and ordered 10 days to be served. Turns out he had been dared past his cellmates to do it, and they had promised him a carton of cigarettes.

Film This

I was a prosecutor. Watched an inmate in court headbutt a framed film that belonged to the estimate. It shattered the drinking glass and the guess came unglued. We charged the guy with property harm.

Full Moon

Worked equally an intern for a pocket-size firm, in a small-scale N Carolina town. While waiting in court for our case, an older, not well-to-do human being was listening to the judge and his attorney discuss his example. He proceeds to pull his pants downwards, moon the judge, and yell "Buss my butt!" He was arrested and nosotros came to find out later that he was severely inebriated (he was given a breathalyzer). He was such an user, no 1 could tell prior to his outburst.

A Speedy Defense

I defended myself confronting a reckless driving charge by peppering the arresting officeholder with a bunch of standard questions almost how he was able to calculate my speed and the reliability of his radar.

When I asked him how fast he was traveling at the fourth dimension he stated "No idea" and the instance was instantly dismissed since that is a requirement for determining the speed of another vehicle.

Cut Pharynx Defense

When I was on jury duty, the defense lawyer certainly had this moment. The accused was accused of brandishing a weapon against a shop possessor. After a calendar week-long trial, in an apparent twist, the defendant decided to take the stand up. While he was being cantankerous-examined, he was asked what his intentions were when he pulled out the knife. He said "I was fixing to hurt him," and everyone in the court either gasped or laughed uncomfortably. The await of "Uh Oh" on the public defender's confront… Although the case was mostly a waste material of time and we ended upwards finding him not guilty anyway.

A Canis familiaris'due south Mean solar day

I was a character witness for my childhood dog in a civil trial betwixt our neighbors and my parents. Opposing counsel was questioning me, I wasn't even out of elementary school at the fourth dimension, and he asked if our dog was ambitious. She was a rottweiler and very loving and incredibly protective of me and my siblings. His final question to me is i I volition never forget. He asked, "Did your male parent tell you what to say before you came into court today?" I responded "Yes." Then he asked, "What did he tell you to say?" I said "The truth." Now I was besides young to call back the courtroom reaction, but according to my father the estimate audibly guffawed and the opposing counsel lost all the current of air out of his sails.

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